Ponderisms

[LegalAlien]

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Life is sexually transmitted.

Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

[REAPER]

I don't know about the first ones, but sound good to me

Originally Posted by LegalAlien

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

This is why you bring lighter fluid or gas...

Originally Posted by LegalAlien

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

testical ?

Originally Posted by LegalAlien

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

No, it does not...just like pushing the button to close the door, they are never hooked up.

[LegalAlien]

Originally Posted by REAPER

This is why you bring lighter fluid or gas...

Or know how to start a fire with Birch bark or Old Mans Beard, than one match is enough too.
But when I have a burn pile at my place, I cheat and use a small propane torch .

Originally Posted by REAPER

testical ?

You passed the test.............ical

Originally Posted by REAPER

...just like pushing the button to close the door, they are never hooked up.

Wow, you learn a new thing every day.......

[REAPER]

Originally Posted by LegalAlien

Wow, you learn a new thing every day.......

I installed elevators for 5 years... it was a cool job.
The 2 best jobs were replacing the elevator at an all girls private school and the one at Brussells chocolate factory